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Diary of an Army Wife An Army Wife

Personality matters “She thinks she’s God’s gift to the world, always advising others on something or the other,” said one of them, dressed in a branded (naturally) tracksuit with carefully matched accessories and make-up, about some unsuspecting lady obviously not present there. The other two giggled. A good half-an-hour of non-stop gossip ended with the dissemination of information that... Fauji doctor to the rescue One feels a certain reassurance even in the uncertainty that comes with certain Army services. Take military hospitals as an example. One is fully aware the uniformed doctor he or she consults on the first visit may not be there the second time, be it on account of transfer, duty, leave...anything. Yet, it is never really a cause for worry. The army generally ensures medical care continues... The Good Samaritans After a year of experiences that translated to more madness than sanity, there is nothing as refreshing as a short holiday to a place you have never seen. At such a time, there is little as reassuring as having sanctioned leave and confirmed accommodation in an Army establishment there. So when we (my family) drove off in our car that has seen almost as much as we have, we did so with great... Dashing damsels They are a different class of women, incomparable with the ordinary rest! There is something about them that simply ensures they stand out among a crowd of even the most glamorous and best dressed beautiful army wives. I had always wanted to be one of them. I remember even bringing home the forms to fill for the Education Corps after I completed my studies, but my circumstances at the time did... Romancing the uniform Wonderfully, I am a romantic Piscean. Sadly, my Gemini husband is not so, at least not in my expression. But my argument is that’s what romance is all about, right? Expression! From his point of view, it is an unnecessary waste of time and effort when the feelings are already in place; but I say why not convey something that will always bring a smile to my face?Can you really... Speaking up I don’t know whether the saying ‘no news is good news’ adheres to the present day world of crime. Experts say the crime graph has remained the same. It is only media reporting of crime that has increased. News today is redundant with increasing horror of atrocities against little girls and women in particular. The animalistic tendencies of people from different strata of life... Army’s Annandale Nature knows no indecencies; man invents them, said Mark Twain. While unfortunately he was right, fortunately the ‘wrong’ inflicted at times sometimes gets converted to a good ‘right’ when somebody fights to preserve Mother Nature and her children. Probably lesser known or spoken about by citizenry as such, the Indian Army is not just about defence and security but about... My role model I was always in awe of her. She was my role model... still is. I always wanted to be an achiever like her and make my parents proud of me as they were of her. As a teenager I tried copying her but always failed in my attempts not realising the fact that aping somebody is not the solution—hard work and perseverance is. I recollect proud moments of the winter of 1984 when as a cadet of the... ‘Seasons’ of the fauj It was an early evening this winter when I stepped out of the warmth of my house into the veranda. For one who likes to chatter, my teeth did so but without my wish. Naturally so, I realised, since it was probably less than five degree Celsius. I was immediately enveloped by the crisp cold in a not-so-warm embrace. I could hardly see the nearby trees because of the thick fog. I ran to my car and... Hello—2013! The first of January 2013 was special for me. I did something I had never done on day one of a new year. Go sightseeing! No ordinary ‘sights’ but glimpses into different extraordinary chapters of history.One realises having well-placed fauji contacts makes life so simple when you are visiting a new place, especially one that is so varied in its historical offerings. Not only did our... Skeptical about patriotism Seeing the 23-year-old martyr’s soulful eyes in the newspaper caused me to shudder with what they had seen in their short life. I experienced extreme sadness at the pain and horror Capt. Saurabh Kalia along with his five brave comrades, would have gone through; fury as to how any human being can inflict such torture on another (and deny it later)—an unarmed one at that; sheer... All about positive energy! “Come with me,” said the unknown lady, probably in her late twenties, and extended her hand to my little daughter who promptly complied and walked off happily with her. My husband and I were left speechless. Our offspring generally took her own sweet time to get used to someone. She also believed in being carried than walking in most cases. So seeing her walk off with a total stranger... Dashing or down-to-earth? He was quieter than his usual quiet self—clearly disappointed with my response. I shrugged my shoulders. I couldn’t help it. I was just being my normal honest self.“So what,” I thought to myself. “I can’t fool him or myself with anything other than the truth! I am a regular romantic who is impressed with guns and tanks!” However, later I realised I was... Daughter of an Army wife “I’ll go over to the bank and submit the form for you to get back the amount, Dad,” I volunteered, without a moment’s hesitation. We were talking about how my septuagenarian retired Army officer dad was having to pay extra taxes that he need not, on account of being a senior citizen. “Anyway, the taxes taken are reimbursed later,” said Dad. “Moreover, I... Dealing with oddity I was in the second trimester of pregnancy when we had our regiment’s Raising Day party. Raising Day—as the name suggests—is the day the regiment or unit was established or raised. A sort of a big birthday bash —a proud occasion! It is by far the most important day in the history of the unit and is celebrated with gusto every year. Ladies, in particular, as a group or... Time for dis-play! I have grown to be a pragmatist on account of the varied experiences of my life—some unpleasant, and a few, good ones. I have learnt over a long period of time; a couple of decades or so, that people are not what they want you to believe. Life is neither a straight path, nor do most people talk straight. This often leads to a feeling of let-down. Time and again I worry about my better half... Worth the wait! It’s a feeling of great contentment to share a cup of hot steaming tea with your loved one, on a hilltop, abundant with lush greenery. There was this lady running a tea stall in a tiny hill station called Yercaud in Tamil Nadu. One sip—and my husband and I exchanged happy looks. Our day was made. We went on to have 4-5 cups that very misty morning during the early part of our 20-day... The Army Housewives’ special allowance? The Women and Child Development Ministry’s infancy-stage proposal to introduce a monthly salary system for the various important ‘jobs’ done by the housewife, is definitely interesting. No doubt it has raised many a well threaded eyebrow—not to mention frowns of those who don’t need threading, on account of the always-argued (by married couples), yet unresolved... Woman power? It sounds nonchalant, but is probably one of the most formidable words in the Indian Army. The word ‘Ladies Club’ sends a shiver down the spine of anyone ill-equipped to take on the superior forces allegedly called the ‘weaker sex’. At one point of time, I had deluded myself with the thought that nothing about human behavior could shock me anymore. Then something... Sartaj She was four-feet nothing with eyes that spoke volumes of silent agony. Her flawless face radiated patience and hope. Sartaj was no ordinary woman. Her husband was a jawan in our subunit who went about his duties calmly and she was a homemaker like the others living in the family quarters—but with a difference.She had two children, a boy studying in class eight and a girl, around 16 years.... The biggest fan Sometimes I feel the life of an Army officer and his wife is like the tempestuous moods of the sea—still and calm when the sky is clear but, unrecognizably virulent during a storm. I realise there is much more to this form of existence that meets the eye. The duty of an Army officer is, in fact, not just about the complex simplicity of fighting insurgency and the like. It is not even about... Ethos of Army etiquette “Come on Dad, how can you eat a chapati and sabzi with a fork?”  I always used to ask my father when I was a teenager, and still do sometimes! In reply he just used to smile. Over the years I learnt that social etiquette is so deeply ingrained in Army officers (and officers of other services) that one can easily identify them even in civil society on account of their mannerism,... Not about might! We lived in an Army colony in a city once. Just out of our gates, one had to cross a double road perpendicularly to gain entry to a road that took us towards our regiment’s location. One day, coming back to the colony, I had crossed over halfway but traffic on the other side had not eased, so I waited in the middle of the two roads. I then saw a private bus approaching from the road behind... The Tech-teen Age “You gave a Blackberry to a 16-year-old just for GIVING his class ten exams???” I almost shouted incredulously. My sister nodded her head. “Yes, this was nothing. His friends’ parents gave them bikes (not bicycles of course!) for the same reason. But he agreed for a phone, said he’d take the bike later. You’ll come to this stage soon enough, then you’ll... Creating rich history It was 1799. England and France were at war in Europe. The mighty Tipu Sultan’s association with the French in India was viewed with suspicion. No wonder, since he was promised help by Napolean Bonaparte himself. In a mighty response, an Army consisting of 21,000 men of all arms marched from Vellore to Mallavelly in February 1799. Tipu launched an attack to counter the Army but was fiercely... Taking a call One morning my phone kept ringing incessantly. The calls were from an unknown mobile number. Yet, one needs to find out if it may be someone you know. So I picked up. “Hello, Madam, Namaste!” “Namaste, who’s speaking,” I asked. “Madam, I am Savita, wife of soldier Suresh Kumar.” Me: Yes, Savita, is everything alright?Savita: Madam, I am calling from... ‘Heart’ of the matter The huge room smelt of typical air-conditioned air. I could hear the familiar mass sound of fingers at keyboards and printers spouting out page sizes A3 and A4. Everyone was glued to their monitors, slight creases on their foreheads with the concerted efforts to make work error-free. I walked up to one of the machines and took a printout of my page. Poring over the fine print, I checked it in... True brothers in arms Do modern-day marriages suffer setback in the absence of parents or elders? Is our society, in reality, the antithesis of certain television serials that revolve around close-knit joint families—ones we love to watch? Whether these questions are rhetorical, is difficult to gauge due to their intrinsic subjectivity.  Professional and personal lives of Army personnel are two sides of the... WANTED: Husband The big fat Indian wedding—where dreams are born. A time when parents leave no stone unturned to turn their daughter’s wedding into the extravagant best for her promising life ahead. Government employees are many a time the preferred son-in-law material with guaranteed jobs, blessed with pay commissions steadily increasing their incomes and good standards of living. It is probably the... A toast to success You know what’s the beauty of an Army officer’s job?It is unique. It is not restricted to a specific desk, task or responsibility. There is no expectation of monetary gains for good performance. In addition, the tasks range from updating documentation regarding all personnel to maintaining the guard posts along the periphery. No one questions the changing roles. But yes, the one thing... Understanding diplomacy I have been part of editorial staff meetings that encourage individual capabilities through progressive suggestions and expected challenges in the line of work. I have been principal of a kindergarten school wherein I always believed in feedback and suggestions to create a happy carefree atmosphere for the children vis-à-vis a play-and-learn philosophy. Interactive discussions at varied... Emissaries of bravery November 1993: It was Diwali night—the entire country was lit up with lamps and firecrackers. Quite far away from the celebrations was a different ‘Diwali’ for a gunner of an artillery unit. With just about five years of service, he was on duty at Baramullah. But he probably didn’t mind since he was going on leave the next day. Also, his wife was six months pregnant with... Celebrating with rain We faujis plan our parties with great gusto and to every minute detail. A grand party was in the offing with an invitation to every officer and his family in the station. Comfortable and ample seating with a talented Army jazz band playing soft notes in our pleasing lawns aimed to provide the perfect ambience. A sumptuous menu was researched and analysed, and finalised (Sorry, RAW). Subtle classy... The vigilante Educated urbanization and its allied movements have been working overtime to provide the Indian woman the basic dignity she deserves. Nevertheless, it is an endurance test every time she steps out alone into the real world. Being an Army wife ensures a lot of train travel without the protective armour called ‘husband’. So I learnt that it always helps to be alert especially when... The perfect retirement plan We were on annual leave in Bangalore when one day we went to pick up the monthly medicines from the Ex-Servicemen Contributory Health Scheme (ECHS) centre for my parents-in-law. Seeing two long queues of salt-and-pepper-haired citizens was quite disheartening. As we waited with them, their faces started losing the energy they had started with, their torso drooping forward with tiredness; some of... Poetic panorama The harsh rays of the sun were slowly dwindling into oblivion. The waves of the sea were getting naughty for want of sunny supervision. With bated breath, my daughter and I sat on the jet-ski behind the rider, who took off without a care, typical of one who’s done it too many times. The waves were getting higher and stronger with the changes in the tide and the setting sun. As we raced... Just about Hindustan My husband and I believe the language of the heart transcends any parochial counterpart. But others immersed in colloquialism think otherwise. "What language do you speak?" "Marathi.""What language does your husband speak?""Tamil."The expression is crestfallen. "Oh!""So what language do you both speak with your child?""Hindi and... Rejuvenating raindrops I just love the rain. I love the way the sky darkens when the sun disappears to sulk in some corner. I love the moments just before it pours, when you can smell the fragrance of wet earth before the little puddles are born. The first shower of the season somehow stirs these emotions in me. A look at the overcast sky reminds me of someone’s words: Life isn’t about waiting for the storm... Facts of fangs It all happened on a pleasant Sunday afternoon with a nice lunch at a senior officer’s house. Such lunches are nice but always rushed for foodies such as me, thanks to social courtesies and protocol. Anyway, the post-lunch lull was fairly deceptive till our small group was asked to be seated in the rear verandah in a semicircle. The host stood in front of us and smiled. We smiled back,... Baby blues It is said “A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.” Though I personally feel it would help if the wife and deaf husband were both blind.So like any normal couple who forget about love and romance soon after getting bound together with the shackle called ‘marriage’, Shagufta and her husband were bickering about every little thing within a couple... To my baby with love Guilt. It puts you down; it tears you apart. And if it involves a child, there is nothing worse. When your instinct screams out in protest and you ignore the sounds only you can hear, the aftereffect deafen you one day. I always enjoy a high level of thrill and rejuvenation to start working with any reputed publication. But this time, I felt a sense of foreboding even though it involved a... Maid management The door bell rang. Dressed in my usual, comfortable and convenient track pant and T-shirt, my face devoid of creams and powders, I opened the door, wondering who it was since the place I had just moved to, had little scope for undeclared visitors. A pair of Kohl-lined eyes and a bright red lipstick glittered from the face that smiled at me. She was dressed in a sparkling bright salwar kameez.... Protecting the soft targets Headlines that depict TRAGEDY always draw attention – anytime, anywhere. A recent vacation in Goa was marred by a casual glance at one of the headlines in a local newspaper that sent a chill down my spine. “Four-year-old girl from Mumbai on a visit to her grandparents’ house for her vacations raped and murdered in a town 85 km from Panjim.” Just four years of age and she... Career: An Army Wife “I have attended quite a few Army functions,” boasted my scribe friend recently, when I came to my hometown to be with my family for a couple of months.“Oh really, that’s wonderful,” I said, a little unsure of where he was going with the statement. He continued, “One thing I’ve noticed during all functions is that the wives of all the attending officers... Courage under fire “There’s someone at the window,” screamed my five-year-old sister deliriously but factually at 2.30 a.m., suddenly getting up from a restless sleep marred by high fever brought on by measles. Our mother shushed her back to sleep, fearing she would wake up her siblings. My father was away on a two-month course. So living alone in a large independent house with three small... Heroes, truly! Mishaps are like knives that either serve us or cut us, as we grasp them by the blade or the handle, said James Russell Lowell. So true. So necessary.I know of a soldier amongst us. He was good at his work and an excellent sportsman. He enjoyed excelling in all he did. Good health is pivotal for a successful Army career. Though we haven’t seen war in recent years (fingers crossed!), fitness... Old is gold “Good afternoon uncle, good afternoon aunty,” I chirped to an elderly couple who I knew from my days of two oiled plaits and neatly ironed cotton skirts. “Good afternoon beta, when did you get here? How are your parents?” asked the lady. “Just a few days back, aunty,” said I, and added, “My parents are fine. In fact, I’ve come with them for the... Plea for a reassuring touch Sweat flowed down my face like an errant tap. I screamed at the top of my voice. I thought I was dying. I craved for a reassuring human touch, a kind glance and if I was really lucky, a known face. But that was not meant to be. Waves of pain kept wracking my body and testing my limits of endurance. The faces around me stared at me impassively. Through my blurred vision, I tried making sense of... Saving the endangered species? We are a confused country. We don’t know whether we are progressing or progressive. We take poverty and malnutrition in our stride towards modernisation. Nevertheless, we pride ourselves on our ability to connect with others on a global forum on topics we understand little about. So what if we don’t do much for those who are actually suffering? India is a democracy and we have the... Generation gap Two pairs of loving eyes, one bespectacled, keenly watched the child on their screen. She had changed a lot since the last time they met her. She had grown taller, her soft hair longer, she looked naughtier. Not able to comprehend the marvels of Skype, the child looked back curiously at the images on the screen and wondered who they were. “Don’t you remember your grandparents? I am... All about perception The creation of life is an experience not many want to miss out. Holding those little fingers, nuzzling the soft cheeks and cuddling the little warm person are experiences that are meant to be savoured. More so, when they have become moments that can’t be taken for granted in times of infecundity. Gone are the days when our grandparents had a dozen children or so, and didn’t even... Sea or fish-bowl? Crystal balls and tarot cards don’t really help in reading what the future holds. The magic is inside you. There ain’t no crystal ball: said none other the charismatic Dolly Parton. I still seek clarity if not prediction. Is an Army officer happier while in the service or in the Civvy Street after taking retirement prematurely?Of course, it varies from individual to individual and the... Her will paved the way “Ability: is what you are capable of doing.Motivation: determines what you do.Attitude: determines how well you do it.”When we stand at the threshold of a new chapter in our lives, we don’t realise our ability has brought us there with the help of motivation. Then as we falter in confidence, attitude takes over and directs us towards success - our goal.Hailing from a simple... The big ripple in the pond While Akbar as king went incognito through the markets of his kingdom to find out the loopholes of his governance (as shown in Jodhaa-Akbar), it is not really possible in modern-day India for the leaders to do the same. If anything, the more media coverage while meeting the downtrodden, the better it is for the career growth path. Contrarily, the hierarchy in the Armed Forces is clear headed in... In memoriam Military conflict is not a mere film story to be enjoyed with a chilled soft drink and popcorn. There is no tomato sauce here – only pure human blood spilled on account of political decisions passed on to the armed forces by the top brass. Forty-one years back, India fought a 13-day war with Pakistan for the liberation of East Pakistan, now known as Bangladesh.A young Army Captain was doing... The art of giving “I am chic. I am suave. I am trendy. I like to party with my friends. I am on social networking sites. I own the latest gizmos. I am the new age Army teenager.”“Mamma, pleeeeeaase, all my friends are on FB! I don’t even have an e-mail account,” said Tanya, an inconsolable pre-teen, to her mother. “No, you cannot and I will not allow you to.” The next day... Life – all about misery & hope Streams of tears made their way down her sad big eyes. They rendered me speechless, something I seldom experience. I let her vent out her misery through the medium that women have been bound to, for centuries, whenever they find themselves entangled in the web of masculine fraud.Suchitra’s husband, a soldier, was having an affair with a woman from his village for the last eight years. He... My man, my love Am I from Venus and he from Mars?I don’t quite feel we belong to two different planets even though British novelist and poet Thomas Hardy once said it is difficult for a woman to define her feelings in a language which is chiefly made by men to express theirs.  I am clear about the fact that I am a thoroughbred romantic – not a hopeless one. I wouldn’t want to use the word...

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